Yesterday a few of my Facebook friends all posted this one blog post. It’s awesome! If you’re a mom or a dad of a 2 year old plus- you’re going to know what The Elf on the Shelf is. Before you read any more, you have to read this post from People I Want to Punch in the Throat. Hilarious. She so eloquently puts exactly what we’re thinking and yet makes it funny. Since her blog name is so long, I’ll dub her Punch. Punch should be a commenter on “I love the 80s” or 90s…
First off – I do not have an Elf on the Shelf for my kids. I feel very guilty about this like they’re missing out on a critical part of Christmas traditions and memories that their little friends will cherish and tell their Elf stories as they grow up. Haa haa! They’ll all share a laugh and my kids will be left out because their terrible mom did not participate in the Elfcapades. But have you seen the Elf included in the boxed book set? He’s freaking scary! He looks like my childhood doll nightmares! Not quite clown scary, but close. I don’t want this thing in my house! And then, I read the post above, and the blogger actually has one elf, but two children – so she’s feeling the guilt that each child won’t have their own elf to keep . That means, I’d need TWO scary little elves watching over my kids. I can just hear the little, “Eeee eee eee,” stabbing noise from the horror movies of my childhood. To be fair, one facebook friend does have a stuffed elf (so maybe the ones that come with freak her out too) but it’s still a little scary looking anyway. I’m sure I could search for elves on Amazon and find a normal looking one, but then I’d have to take an extra step, spend more money, and then my son would probably be one of those kids who could give a rip.
Anyway, I do feel better about not having an Elf now, knowing from reading the blog post from Punch, that she has an elf and feels guilty anyway. For not having two and for not doing enough silly things with her elf. If I had an elf, then I’d just have different guilt and more to remember.
Right now I just watched Top Chef Texas and ate 1/4 tin of GH Cretors Chicago Mix popcorn mixed with white. Need to stop buying that at Costco… can’t stop eating it- the bags go fast. But I’d probably stage a revolt if they stopped selling it. Watching Heather be so mean to Beverly must’ve made me stress eat. Thanks a lot Heather. My stretchy pajama pants feel tight.